


Blueberry Yum Yum

by ineedthislikeaholeinthehead



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Inebriated cuddling, M/M, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, munchies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 05:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7744960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead/pseuds/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter thinks that he's going to spend a nice cozy evening with his boyfriend, but when he gets to Kurt's room, he's thrown into a smoke den filled with intoxicated teenagers.  Who is he to complain?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blueberry Yum Yum

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gigglingmuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglingmuse/gifts).



> I heard Blueberry Yum Yum by Ludacris on my way to work today, and all I could think of was what a yummy blueberry Kurt was. 
> 
> I have no other excuse.

Peter was annoyed. 

Honestly, he was usually annoyed. He was particularly annoyed because he’d walked into Kurt’s room expecting a nice, quiet night of cuddling (and maybe a little more) only to find Scott, Jean, Jubilee laughing their asses off while Kurt was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 

He coughed as he walked right into the terrible smoke rings Scott was attempting. 

“Watch out, Scott. Nickel looks pissed.” Jean most definitely thought she was speaking psychically. Peter had caught them enough times to know that his nickname was a constantly revolving collection of different metals. 

Scott looked up at him. Peter had a feeling that at that moment, his eyes would look pretty red even without the glasses. He handed up the pipe in his hand. 

“Want some?” He asked. 

“It’s Tuesday afternoon.” Peter said. Everyone sat in silence. 

“...and?” Jubilee finally asked. She made a good point. Peter took the pipe. 

“There’s nothing here.” He said. Jean levitated the baggie from beside Kurt and placed it in Peter’s hand. He jumped onto the bed. Kurt didn’t react. He put the baggie down and put his hand on Kurt’s thigh. “You ok?” He asked. Kurt nodded. 

“Dude’s catatonic.” Scott said. He was still trying to make smoke rings, but he didn’t have the smoke to do it, so Peter had no idea what he was seeing. 

“Good shit?” Peter asked. Kurt moved a claw and signaled thumbs up. Peter looked through the bag. Jackpot. He rolled out the fasted joint in recorded history, then rolled another four. 

“Joints waste so much.” Jean told him as he passes her one. 

“No one throw out their roaches.” Peter tells said. “Captain Planet over here wants to make sure we recycle so I’m gonna pack the pipe again when we’re done.” 

You’re getting demoted aluminum. She promised directly in his head. He shrugged. 

“A little help?” He said. Jean waved her hand and lit everyone’s joints. 

*

“Save some for the rest of us.” Jubilee said.  
Peter took a drag on yet another joint. He was lying on Kurt’s arm, staring up at Kurt’s ceiling, and cared about nothing else. 

“You lightweights are fine.” He finally said. Man, this shit was fucking with his reaction times, that comeback had taken him seconds to get out. Is this what regular people felt like all day? No wonder humans were always so pissy. 

“You’ve had more and came late.” Jean pointed out. She was mostly concentrated on levitating the pencils from Kurt’s desk.

“Uh, who’s fault was that?” Peter asked. 

“You’re lying on him.” Peter turned to look at Kurt, whose cheeks were a lovely shade of purple in embarrassment. He playfully hit him in the arm and Kurt let out a tiny growl. 

“Got high and forgot to call me first.” Peter said. “I feel no remorse for stealing all of your weed, babe.” 

Kurt curled into Peter’s chest. Peter could smoke until the bag was empty as long as he let Kurt stay like this. 

*

“Peterrrrrrr.” Jubilee whined. She was lying on one of Jean’s arms, Scott was on the other. None of them had realized just how interesting Kurt’s ceiling was. 

“Jubileeeeeeee.” He responded. 

“I’m starving.” 

“How’s that my fault?” 

“Get me something.” 

“You’ve got two gophers right there.” 

“I am not Jubilee’s bitch.” Scott said. Jean turned to him, putting her hand on his chest. 

“Oh, baby. Yes, you are.” Scott pulled her closer and kissed her. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“You are all my bitches. Peter. Go get me something to eat.”  
“No.” He curled back into Kurt’s arms. 

“Kurt, go get me a box of Twinkies from Peter’s room.” 

“What makes you think I have a box of Twinkies in my room?”

“I don’t think you have a box, I think you have a case. You won’t miss it.” 

“Just take us all to Peter’s room to get snacks.” Scott said to Kurt. 

“You can’t be serious.” Peter nearly melted at how cute Kurt sounded slowed down with that accent. How had he gotten so lucky? “I couldn’t get all of us there if I wanted to. And I don’t want to.” 

“Peter, take us to your room.” 

“I’m fucked up, dude.”

“So?” 

“So, if you all want to raid my snacks, we’re gonna have to get there the old fashioned way and walk.” 

“Walking’s for plebes.” Jubilee said. Everyone agreed, but considering the fact that Peter’s room was literally next door, they all sucked it up and walked over.

**Author's Note:**

> Come on, agree with me, Peter would roll the BEST joints. I think he's really wasting his time with the whole hero thing when he could just hang out on my balcony rolling joints for me.


End file.
